For the next issue that hits newsstands on June 8, Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert will be Newsweek’s guest editor, The Observer has learned.

[Newsweek's Jon] Meacham said the idea was born from a lunch he had with Mr. Colbert at Gabriel’s near Columbus Circle.

“I was just very impressed with the range of his knowledge and he had an almost encyclopedic feel for anything that came up,” said Mr. Meacham. “As we think about ways to both inform and surprise readers of the magazine, the notion of having him as a guest editor seemed like a good one.”

It’s the first guest editor for Newsweek in its 76-year history.

The magazine’s conceit for this issue was born out of Mr. Meacham and Mr. Colbert’s meeting that day.

Mr. Colbert said that the “conventional wisdom” of his earnest, super-conservative Comedy Central character will be peppered throughout the issue, which will include an essay he will write, but that much of the content in the magazine will be treated with the utmost seriousness.

“We had input into what the stories are going to be,” Mr. Colbert

Unfortunately these comedians are dead now, and a couple were taken way before their time but their comedy will always live on. I know there are many more comedians that people will name but many of them were before my time so I am not very familiar with them. One of the best things about these 5 guys is that their bits still hold up to this day and seem to never get old.

5 — Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005)

4 — Sam Kinison — (December 8, 1953 – April 10, 1992)
Pentecostal Preacher Turned Comedian

3 — Richard Pryor (December 1, 1940 – December 10, 2005)

2 — George Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008)

1 — Bill Hicks (December 16, 1961 – February 26, 1994)

1) Paris Hilton talking to press about the US chain store: “Wal-Mart… do they like make walls there?”

Gallery – Paris invades Australia

2) Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds: “Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’

3) Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: “I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”

4) Chantelle Houghton when Big Brother said she had changed since becoming a celebrity: “I’ve changed? What do you mean… I’ve changed my clothes?”

5) Jodie Marsh in a recent interview: “Eskimos are uncivilised because they don’t have any shops.”

6) Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet: “I don’t really think, I just walk.”

7) Jessica Simpson on her first day at high school: “A teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. I was sooo excited. I was like, Damn it! It’s my first day of 7th grade, I’m in junior high and I know this answer. So I raised my hand, I was the first one, and I said A-E-I-O-U!”

Goldie Horn on her favourite types of films: “Comedy is funny”.

9) Sam Fox on fitness clothes: “I’ve got 10 pairs of training shoes – one for every day of the week.”

10) Britney Spears on her taste in clothes: “So many people have asked me how I could possibly be a role model and dress like a tramp and get implants… all I have to say is that self-esteem is how you look at yourself and I feel good enough about myself so wear that kind of clothing… the breast implant issue has nothing to do with that…”

11) BB’s Helen Adam’s on education: “The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde – I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate.”

12) Lady Victoria Hervey on the homeless: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”

13) Britney on Japan “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

14) Jessica Simpson when offered buffalo wings: “Sorry I don’t eat buffalo.”

15) Paris Hilton on her fame: “There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”

16) Chantelle Houghton on George Galloway: “He looks at us like we’re stupid, scatty, uneducated girls. He’s a right chauvinistic pig, whatever that means!”

17) Cameron Diaz on science: “I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.”

18) Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: “I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.”

19) BB’s Helen Adams on magic man Paul Daniels: “Yeah, you know Jack Daniels… he does all the magic stuff!”

20) Christina Aguilera on film festivals: “So where’s the Cannes film festival being held this year?”

Gallery – Xtina in action

21) Paris Hilton on her career choices: “First wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I’d just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.”

22) Alicia Douvall on motherhood: “I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she’s managed well. That’s why I’m happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career.”

23) Chantelle Houghton on hearing George Galloway was an MP: “Does that mean you work in that big room with the green seats?”

24) Britney on capital punishment: “I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time.”

25) BB2′s Helen Adams on pulses: “How much chicken is there in chick peas?”

26) Chanelle Hayes on her Posh spice obsession: “I like what she (Victoria Beckham) wears. That’s what magazines are all about – there’s always a picture of a celebrity and where to buy a replica of what they’re wearing. It’s not as if I’m doing anything weird.”

27) Paris Hilton on her title: “I don’t want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn’t do anything for that.”

28) Tara Reid on her fellow blonde celeb: “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

29) Ivana Trump on literature: “Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.”

30) Christina Aguilera on herself: “I’m an ocean, because I’m really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures.”

31) Britney Spears on her first tour: “Where the hell is Australia anyway?”

32) Alicia Douvall on surgery: “I know it (plastic surgeries) will kill me. But I’d rather die trying to sort things out.”

33) Jodie Marsh on cooking: “Is an egg a vegetable?”

34) Kimberly Stewart on Jennifer Aniston: “I like her cos she’s like, homely. She must have something else going on cos it’s not like she’s gorgeous or anything.”

35) Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 ’05 video awards: “Isn’t it weird I’m getting all emotionable.”

36) Helen Adams on BB2 : “I probably sound Welsh on the telly.”

37) Mariah Carey on the death of the King of Jordan: “I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time.”

38) Chantelle Houghton on different types of doctors: “What’s a gynaecologist?”

39) Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: “I don’t think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!”

40) Ivana Trump on getting one over on her ex’s new girlfriend: “Gorgeous hair is the best revenge.”

41) Brooke Shields on her campaign against smoking: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

42) Heather Locklear on being proud of her heritage: “From an early age I was aware of what America meant, and how the Marines at Camp Pendleton were ready to defend us at a moment’s notice. I also remember what fabulous bodies those troops had.”

43) Jessica Simpson on her scantily clad videos: “I’m definitely shy, so it was definitely acting for me to drop a trench coat and be in a bikini and try to get my cousins out of trouble by using my body. That was definitely acting!”

44) Chantelle Houghton working out the shopping budget: “Eleventy-twelve pence? I don’t get it. How much is that then?”

45) Britney on why she did a cover of I Love Rock and Roll: “I always loved Pat Benatar.”

46) Emma Bunton on moobs: “I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It’s so funny – when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it’s a comfort thing.”

47) Cyndi Crawford on modelling: “In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it’s not like a blank stare.”

48) The late Anna Nicole Smith on suicide bombers: “Doesn’t that hurt?”

49) Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: “I love what you’ve done with the place!”

50) Mischa Barton on being blessed with looks: “Pretty people aren’t as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas.”

Why? Because there’s a lot of stupid people out there. Either that or a ton of bored 13 year olds.

Without further ado here’s some of the cream of the crop. These Yahoo Answers, and the answers themselves sometimes, made us all at Manolith laugh our asses off and he hope you enjoy them as much as we did.

5. The Joy Of Painting

4. Smurfs

The best part is the “i know this is a common question” part. Wow.

3. Canada Eh!

I always wondered the same things about Canada, too, y’know, after always hearing about it on the TV. But do “Canada People” look like Americans? This is what the internet is great for.

2. My Girlfriend is Pregnant…. and…

Ah, the age old question. “Is my unborn son drinking all the blood”. And to think we give these people drivers licenses and the ability to buy automatic weapons.

1. Emo

And my personal favorite. Good ol’ entry level emo kids.

It makes the internet a gigantic playground, it really does.

Wachner said she did not set out to embarrass or make fun of classmates. Rather, she wanted to see how they would react if their old stereotype of Wachner as a “drama geek” was turned upside down, when she emerged from the cocoon of high school as an uninhibited artist and exotic dancer.

“I love taking things that exist in the world as given — things that are mainstream, notions that people take for granted — and making people re-think them,” she said.

While she may not be as big a name as Web sensation Susan Boyle, who skyrocketed to fame this month after a video of her appearance on “Britain’s Got Talent” went viral online, Wachner is nevertheless overjoyed with the outcome.

And why not? Palos Verdes Peninsula High is a distant memory, and now Hollywood beckons.

Her story is detailed in a nearly 40-minute documentary directed by Wachner that, because of issues surrounding its length and getting approval to show it from former classmates, may never be seen — not even by her parents.

But the 31-year-old Los Angeles resident said on Friday she hopes it will someday and even if not, Hollywood already has come knocking on her door.

She has written a feature film script based on her story, is trying to sell a reality TV show from it, has appeared on cable news channel CNN, and is scheduled to be on ABC’s morning chat show “Good Morning America” next week.

“I’ve been so lucky throughout this whole experience. Everything that could go wrong, went right,” she told Reuters. “I love the way it all turned out.”

But some of her classmates don’t.

“There have been a few people that were pretty vitriolic, and I have received some angry letters,” she said.

In 1995, Wachner graduated from Palos Verdes Peninsula High School in an upscale Los Angeles-area neighborhood and never looked back. She left for New York City, where she attended New York University, graduating in 2000.

When she received the invitation to attend her 10-year reunion, she said she would not have dreamed of going because she hated her years at the school, where BMW and Mercedes-Benz cars were prized possessions.

DRINKING, DRAMA AND DANCE

She claims that at school, fellow students’ drinking alcohol was a problem and eating disorders were common. She said academic competition was tight and the overall environment was “a pressure cooker.”

Wachner didn’t want to go back to all that, but she did want to see how people would react if the self-described “drama geek” showed up a changed woman — a stripper, no less.

So, she hired Amy Bernadette “Cricket” Russell, whom she met at a Los Angeles strip club, to impersonate her. Cricket showed up in a slinky dress, fishnet hose and spike heels.

As the drinks flowed, Cricket’s clothes came off, and Wachner watched from a hotel room above the event, linked to her impersonator via wireless radio, TV cameras and a monitor.

Wachner coached Cricket through the night, telling her the names of people she met and providing her with little secrets that only Wachner and her former classmates would know.  

Some of the cast names have already been announced, among them the great Gary Cole (Bill Lumbergh), David Herman (Michael Bolten) and Ajay Naidu (Samir Nagheenanajar); more will be announced in coming days. General public tickets will be available here or at the Paramount box office beginning Saturday at noon; there will also be a small amount of VIP passes available that will include “a pre-event cocktail reception, a limited edition event souvenir, flair, an actual red Swingline stapler, and an after-party at Chotchkie’s featuring pizza shooters, shrimp poppers and extreme fajitas!” Oh, oh, oh. A bonus giggle after the jump.

1) Cristiano Ronaldo says that he is better than Pele and Diego Maradona, and compares himself to God.

2) Jose Mourinho bangs on beforehand about how his Chelsea side were better than United, and that his record against Fergie is Won 6, Drawn 4, Lost 1.

3) Sir Alex Ferguson will use the words “No doubt about it” at least 100 times, while he will mention during an interview with SKY Italia about how good Luciano Spalletti’s wine is.

4) Wayne Rooney does a Zinedine Zidane and headbutts Marco Materazzi in the chest after the Italian snipes that he would “rather NOT have Rooney’s mum”.

5) Mourinho runs down the Old Trafford touchline to celebrate a last minute goal that puts Inter into the next round.

6) Ferguson engages in a furious touchline row with Mourinho over the award of a throw-in, and lobs his chewing gum onto the pitch in disgust.

7) Manchester United fans sing “same old I-Ti’s, always cheating”, even though Inter don’t have a single Italian in their team.

Claudio Ranieri laughs hysterically during both of his pre-match interviews in the tie against former club Chelsea.

9) Ranieri gets a better reception at Stamford Bridge from the Chelsea fans than Luiz Felipe Scolari.

10) English commentators tut-tut about Italian diving shortly before Didier Drogba goes down like he’s caught the plague.

11) Momo Sissoko to have the best pass completion rate…for Chelsea. “Camoranesi… Nedved… Del Piero, back to Nedved, now Sissoko, oh he’s played it straight to Deco!! Deco, Lampaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard GOAL! Chelsea lead!”

12) Lampard is credited with the goal by UEFA, despite the fact the ball took eight deflections, and travelled to and from Timbuktu, on its way into the net.

13) Phil Thompson, Graeme Souness, and a number of other SKY Sports pundits bash the Italian league at every opportunity, and label it an “old, slow, retirement home”, while repeatedly championing the Premier League as the “best league in the world”.

14) Souness says he would never have the over-rated Francesco Totti or Zlatan Ibrahimovic in his team (if he was a manager).

15) Italian media pundits jealously declare that the only reason the Premier League is so strong is because of rich foreign owners, managers and players.

16) In the build-up to Arsenal-Roma, both will be described as attractive, passing sides who play good football, but whoever loses the tie will be condemned as being ‘in crisis.’

17) There will be serious crowd trouble inside and outside the Stadio Olimpico. English fans smash up a number of local bars. Italian fans attack their adversaries while riding around on mopeds.

18) The English media blame 19th century Italian policing for the trouble.

19) The Italian media blame 19-times over-the-drink-limit English fans for the trouble.

And Finally…

20) Whichever country comes out on top in the three-round contest will declare that they have the best league in the world.

What are your views on this topic? What do you expect to happen before, during and after the England v Italy ties? Goal.com wants to know what YOU think.

By the AP

A Russian TV channel has reportedly cut a segment of the ribald U.S. cartoon comedy South Park that mocked Vladimir Putin.

The channel “2X2″ reportedly cut material from the show that aired Tuesday, portraying Putin as a greedy and desperate leader — a decision that prompted criticism and furious discussion on Russia blogs.

It was unclear whether the decision, involving an episode that originally aired in the United States in 2005, was made by channel executives or regulators. Channel executives could not be reached for comment Friday.

A spokesman with Russia’s broadcast regulator, Rosskomnadzor, said he knew nothing of the incident.

“We have never interfered with editorial decisions,” Yevgeny Strelchik said.

The channel has been threatened with closure at least twice before for broadcasting what material regulators deem extremist. The network received warnings from the government last year for “promoting immorality and violence” and again in September 2008 for “overt propaganda of homosexuality and pedophilia.”

Religious groups have also sought to have the station’s license revoked.

The Soviet collapse loosened the reins on news and information, and open mocking of government officials — Kremlin or otherwise — was popular in the 1990s. Under Putin’s presidency, however, there’s been a noticeable shift away from biting satire.

The channel NTV was forced to pull its satirical puppet show “Kukly” in 2002 after the Kremlin objected to the excessive lampooning of Putin.

Putin, who is now prime minister, has been instrumental in returning economic stability to Russia but critics say that his methods, which leave little room for public dissent, border on authoritarian.

Internet publications and blogs are among the last outlets for unfettered commentary and satire in Russian, and commentators on Russia’s most popular blogging service, Live Journal, vented their anger after news of the South Park censorship leaked out.

“Congratulations, Vladimir Vladimirovich,” wrote one blogger, referring to Putin by his name and his patryonimc. “You have become pornography.”

Oleg Kuvaev, a blogger and online animated filmmaker, said on his Web site that the decision would only attract more attention to the channel.

“It’s stupid to cut things this way, because the result is reverse — a mediocre scene attracts more interest,” he wrote.